Documenting Text Message Harassment
How to document text message harassment for police, a protective order, or a restraining order: what to save, how to keep a log, and how to stay safe.
Unwanted texts can wear you down fast. A message at 2 a.m. A dozen in a row when you do not answer. A new number every time you block the old one. Whether it comes from an ex, a former friend, or someone you barely know, harassment by text is real, and you do not have to just put up with it.
This guide covers how to document text message harassment so that police, a court, or an attorney can understand what has been happening. It also points you to help.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911. For confidential support from trained advocates, 24 hours a day, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788.
This is general information, not legal advice. Harassment, stalking, and protective order laws differ by state. A local attorney, victim advocate, or your court's self-help center can tell you what applies where you live.
Is texting someone harassment?
Not every unpleasant text is illegal. But repeated, unwanted messages can cross the line, especially when they threaten you, frighten you, or keep coming after you have asked the person to stop.
Each state defines harassment and stalking in its own laws. Many look at things like:
- Whether there is a pattern, not a single message
- Whether the messages are threatening or meant to alarm or intimidate
- Whether you asked them to stop and they kept going
- How the messages affect you, such as fear for your safety or serious emotional distress
At the federal level, the cyberstalking law (18 U.S.C. § 2261A) covers using electronic communication in a course of conduct, with intent to harass or intimidate, that puts someone in reasonable fear of death or serious bodily injury, or causes, or would reasonably be expected to cause, substantial emotional distress. Most harassment cases, though, are handled under state law.
The common thread is the pattern. That is why documentation matters so much.
Step 1: Save every message
Do not delete the messages, even though seeing them is upsetting. The full record is what shows the pattern.
- Turn off auto-delete. On iPhone, go to Settings, then Apps, then Messages, then Keep Messages, and choose Forever (on older iOS versions, Messages is listed directly in Settings). Android messaging apps vary, so check your app's settings.
- Screenshot as you go. Capture the messages with the contact name or number and the date visible.
- Make a backup you control, separate from the phone. Our guide on how to save your text messages explains how.
- Save related evidence too: voicemails, call logs, social media messages, emails, and photos of anything left at your home or car.
What about blocking them?
Blocking is a safety and peace-of-mind decision that only you can make. Blocking can mean you stop receiving new messages, which also means you stop collecting them. Some people keep the thread open but muted, others block and accept the gap. An advocate can help you think through what is right for your situation.
Step 2: Keep a harassment log
A log turns scattered messages into a clear record. For each incident, write down:
- Date and time
- How it happened (text, call, new number, social media)
- What was said or done, in plain words
- Any witnesses
- How it affected you (for example, you changed your route home or missed work)
- Where the proof is (which screenshot or message)
Keep the log factual and short. Update it as things happen rather than trying to remember everything later.
If you have months of texts, TextEvidence can import them from your iPhone, Mac, or Android phone, search everything at once for specific words or threats, and export the messages you choose as a dated PDF. That can save hours when you need to show the pattern on paper.
Step 3: Report it to police
You can report harassment to your local police department. Bring:
- Your log
- Printed or PDF copies of the key messages with dates and times visible
- Your phone, in case an officer wants to see the original messages
Ask for a report number and the officer's name, and add both to your log. If the messages continue, report again and reference the earlier report number.
For tips on producing clean copies, see how to print text messages for court.
Step 4: Ask about a protective order
A protective order (called a restraining order, order of protection, or stalking order, depending on your state) is a court order telling someone to stay away from you and stop contacting you.
The process usually involves filling out a petition that describes what happened, then a hearing where a judge decides whether to issue the order. Many courts can issue a short-term emergency order quickly, followed by a hearing on a longer one.
Text messages are often central to these hearings. The judge will want to see:
- What the messages said, with dates and times
- That they came from the person named in your petition
- The pattern over time
The judge also has to be satisfied the messages are genuine. Our guide to text messages as evidence explains authentication in plain language, and are text message screenshots admissible in court covers the most common questions about screenshots.
Many courts have self-help centers or victim advocates who help people fill out protective order paperwork at no cost. Ask the court clerk.
When the harasser is a co-parent
If the person harassing you is the other parent of your child, the messages may matter in your custody case as well as for a protective order. Keep everything in one place and see using text messages in a custody case.
Frequently asked questions
What counts as text message harassment?
It depends on your state's laws, but it generally involves repeated, unwanted messages that threaten, alarm, or seriously distress you, often after you have asked the person to stop. A single rude message usually is not enough. A pattern often is.
How do I prove someone is harassing me by text?
Save every message, take screenshots that show the sender and the date and time, and keep a written log of each incident. Show the pattern over time. Call logs, voicemails, and your earlier requests to stop help too.
Can I get a restraining order for text messages?
In many states, yes. Threatening or harassing messages can support a protective or restraining order, depending on your state's requirements. The court clerk, a victim advocate, or a self-help center can explain the process where you live.
What if they keep texting from different numbers?
Document each number, the dates used, and anything in the messages that shows it is the same person, like nicknames, shared history, or references only they would know. Note every new number in your log and tell police or the court about the pattern.
Can I get back harassing texts I already deleted?
Sometimes, for a short time. On an iPhone with iOS 16 or later, deleted messages may still be in the Recently Deleted folder. Apple says you can recover messages deleted within the last 30 to 40 days. Otherwise, check any backups you made. Our guide on saving your text messages covers what is possible.
Need to show months of messages clearly? Sign up for TextEvidence and import your texts.
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